You are currently viewing 4 Couples Counseling Exercises For Infidelity To Do

4 Couples Counseling Exercises For Infidelity To Do

Couples Exercises For Infidelity To Practice

Sometimes the best place to start working on healing after an affair is with a deep breath.

  • Inhale for four seconds.
  • Exhale for four seconds.

Remember, that this too will pass. That the way you are feeling right now we will persist. You will move forward. You will grow, heal, and recover.

I can completely understand how the very words of healing and growing may seem so far away. Yet, I urge you to believe in yourself. To trust yourself. To know that you have a self-healer inside.

You are capable of healing and moving forward.

I want to share with you couples exercises for infidelity that you can practice today.

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4 Couples Exercises For Infidelity To Practice


1. Go for a long walk together focused on mindfulness.

I want you to go for a walk together. I live in Greensboro, North Carolina. A great place to walk here is country park. You are surrounded by trees and lots of nature.

While walking, you and your partner are going to play a mindfulness game.

Here is the game.

Share with each other what you see and hear around you. Use your senses.

If you see a squirrel jump from one tree to another, share what you see. If you smell bread baking from a nearby bakery share it with your partner.

This is a very simple exercise.

You may be thinking about why or what is the purpose.

The purpose is very simple.

It is to give you and your partner time together. One of the best ways to heal a relationship after an affair is to spend time together.


2. Practice accountability and vulnerability.

This exercise for couples healing after an affair can be a bit more challenging. It requires work and facing some potentially difficult hurdles.

This exercise requires that you spend 5 minutes with each other. After 15 minutes both make an agreement to exit the exercise in a loving way. Meaning that you finish the exercise and return to your relationship with love and compassion. Versus using the exercises to create distance and tension.

During the 5 minutes, each partner will get 2 minutes.

For 2 minutes one partner will share an area in the relationship that they felt they did not show up to entirely. Use this time to hold accountability and vulnerability. This is not a space to judge, blame, or criticize. It is a space to see that your partner is strong, vulnerable, and willing to accept that they did not show up in a certain way.

After your partner is done. Thank them for sharing. Then it’s your turn.

This leaves you with 1 minute.

Use the last minute to hug. Yes, I would love to see that you hug for 60 seconds. Engaging in physical touch can release oxytocin, increase trust, reduce stress, promote healing, signal safety, and activates the vagus nerve which can trigger compassion. Working with a couples counselor give you space to continue the healing and recovery process after an affair.


3. Give each other more positives than negatives daily.

Each day, make it a goal to pour more positives than negatives onto your partner. Research connected to Gottman Couples therapy highlights that healthy couples engage in a 5 to 1 ratio.

That is 5 positives to 1 negative.

As an exercise that you can practice daily, try to aim for a minimum 5 positives and at max 1 negative in the relationship.

Common positive acts that you can utilize to promote healing and growth after an affair:

  • Write your partner a love note.
  • Say thank you.
  • Tell your partner that you are thankful for their support.
  • Take on an extra chore.


4. Help each other with managing stress.

Stress impacts each person a little bit differently. In some ways, we cannot avoid stress. It shows up in varying forms.

Stress can be seen and felt.

You may notice that at the end of the day, you are exhausted. Exhaustion can be a form of stress.

Stress can cause your shoulders to feel tense and your head to ache. Stress can lead to pushing you to stay in bed or experiencing difficulty getting restful sleep.

I want to share with you an action-oriented list of strategies to lower your stress. Pick anyone you would find helpful.

The goal is to do the exercises below together.

My encouragement is that you come together to reduce stress. Be present with your partner during a yoga session, start your morning by sharing 5 positive affirmations with each other, sit at a park and meditate together. My friends, the more time that you spend helping each other reduce stress the healthier of a relationship culture you will build. 

7 Ways To Manage Stress Together In Your Relationship

  1. Use positive affirmations.
  2. Stretch daily.
  3. Practice deep breathing.
  4. Try guided meditation.
  5. Learn to identify the triggers.
  6. Practice meditation.
  7. Try yoga.


Common Signs That You Are Carrying Too Much Stress

  • Feel overwhelmed.
  • Low energy.
  • Feeling unmotivated.
  • You feel that you are carrying more than you can handle.
  • Your sleep is off.
  • Internal insecurities. A supportive podcast on dealing with insecurities can be found here.
  • Your appetite is irregular.

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