Learn How To Build Love and Acceptance 

Loving oneself can be achieved through a practice of understanding, acceptance, forgiveness, and commitment. Each of these core areas contain a foundation that works just like a puzzle piece. Without the total connection of the four pieces, persons can struggle with insecurities that connect to a low degree of self-love.

Understanding.

Take time to understand the root of the insecurities, self-esteem, self-confidence or mental health issues. Practices such as counseling, meditation or self-help books can provide the platform to understanding why we struggle with this or that. Once you are able to gain an understanding, a heavy weight will be lifted.

The weight is lifted because there is a known cause versus an unknown. Take into consideration, panic attacks. Often the symptoms of worry, anxiety or rapid heart rate are related to the sense of not knowing what is happening or why it’s happening.

Acceptance.

Creating an internal awareness that this is happening. Imagine that you are stung by a bee. You feel the sensation of the sting on the arm. It hurts. You shout or scream. The pain stays with you for a few minutes. Then it fades. Accepting a process can lower anxiety and depression related symptoms due to the brain achieving a level of understanding and preparedness. While on the other hand, not accepting can lead to an increase in worry, anxiety or sadness.

Forgiveness.

The process of change is one that has ups and downs. I find that allowing oneself to use forgiveness as needed can help with reducing feelings of insecurities. An example of how to practice this is below:

• I forgive myself for being mean to myself.

Versus

• I hate myself for continuing to be mean to myself.

Commitment.

Counseling is somewhat of a marathon. It’s a process that can take time, energy and dedication. As you take on the challenge of loving yourself, it’s fair to say that the negative habits and behaviors have been present for a period of time. You may have potentially experienced a span of 3 months or even 5 years of negative self-talk or destructive hurtful behaviors. Due to this and other factors, the process of change requires time and commitment.

Embodied in the foundation of grit is commitment.

Angela Lee Duckworth was recently on ted talk discussing the power of grit. 

Grit was taught to me at a very young age. An age where I honestly did not truly comprehend its complexity. Grit is when you understand that the mental health challenge you are facing requires you to have courage, confidence, commitment, and will power to continue on. I first learned grit as an adolescent. I wanted to quit my soccer team. My mother reminded me that I made the choice to play and to commit my time and skill to the team. This was my first taste of grit and I am thankful to have continued the practice.

As you continue to work on loving yourself, take time to practice the principles above.

When should you see a counselor?

Certain levels of anxiety or sadness can be normal. For instance, if you are about to give a speech to a massive audience, you may find yourself experiences hand tremors or as slight stomach ache. I certainly due.

However, when you experience the following symptoms, it’s recommended to seek a counselor.:

• If you experience suicidal thoughts.
• If your anxiety or depression is impacting your ability to work. This can be noted if you can’t concentrate at work and have noticed a decline in your performance.
• If you are using drugs or alcohol to manage the anxiety or depression symptoms.
• If you feel that you are worry too much.
• If you are experiencing panic or anxiety attacks.
• If you do not know how to support your and would like recommendations.
• If you notice that the anxiety or depression is not going away.

As you are reading over the symptoms, I, Juan Santos, would like to welcome you to reach out for concerns. If you are unsure about counseling or if your teen needs support, please email me at ([email protected]). I’ll gladly go over your concerns and do my best to lead you in the right direction.