Ways To Overcome The Fear of Rejection
- Have You Ever Experienced Hurt?
- Do you shy away from experiences that make you feel like you are not good enough?
- Do you struggle to move forward after being hurt?
The fear of rejection is a true fear. It’s one that you cannot shy away from because if you do, then of course you know that it’ll continue to show its ugly face. The fear of rejection can often leave you feeling lost, disconnected, and not ready to move forward.
I remember working with an individual who shared such difficult dating experiences. The ones you hear on TV. They shared how they would energetically show up to dates and find that they would slowly fade. One particular date led the person to start their counseling journey. They shared that their date left them hanging.
I think in today’s swipe world, it can be difficult to find the right person. And to be honest, it’s tough to continue to put yourself out there over and over.
They shared that their struggle was in starting again due to fearing rejection of another relationship not working.
The example I shared is one form of rejection. I want you to consider your fear of rejection as you read over the 7 ways to overcome rejection and move forward.
Here Is How To Overcome Rejection:
1. Validate your feelings.
One of my favorite mental health strategies to utilize is of validation. This is the beautiful practice of knowing that what you feel is legit. It’s true and deserves to be honored. I think one of the worst feelings is that found in sharing an experience and someone telling you that it’s not true.
As if it’s their job to know what you are supposed to feel or not.
From me to you, give yourself space to validate what you feel and you’ll start to overcome the fear of rejection.
Working with a counselor is a wonderful first step in learning how to validate your feelings and overcome the fear of rejection. Click here to schedule an appointment.
2. Search for the learning points.
I want you to think about the last 5 times that you experienced rejection. Next, I want you to consider one to two items that you can honestly say connect to learning points.
I’ll share a personal example.
I remember having this conversation with my spouse that went, spouse. Later, I reflected on it and thought to myself that I honestly could have done better at creating a structured space to have the conversation. Versus throwing a difficult topic at her in the middle of the working day.
This learning point has helped me reduce the fear of rejection and become more comfortable with confronting difficult conversations.
A supportive podcast episode to building more trust in your relationship can be found here, featuring Dr. Juan Santos.
3. Face your fear one step at a time.
I’m sure that you have seen plenty of quotes all about facing your fear. I agree with the concept. I do think that when you do “hard” things you’ll see “at some point” positive growth.
My encouragement is that you face your fears with structure.
Take tiny leaps.
A baby learns to crawl before it walks.
You can do the same when it comes to your fear of rejection. Consider what your fear is and create a step-by-step process to face it. CLICK HERE to listen to a podcast episode on tiny leaps to dealing with insecurities in your relationship.
4. Create a support system.
The field of mental health has ample research showing the importance of having a support system. When you are trying to overcome your fear of rejection and move past the hurt, consider who you can lean on for support.
This may be a great space to begin mental health counseling. CLICK HERE to explore counseling with Santos Counseling PLLC.
5. Accept that you will experience feelings.
I think sometimes we shy away from our feelings and shift to avoidance. For some, this means that you completely avoid any situation that may mean you will experience rejection.
Think about that. Reflect on your life.
Do you avoid situations so that you do not have to deal with rejection?
If you do, then let’s focus on that because we have to be honest. We know that you want to move forward and heal. We know that you deserve to leave your best life. And my friend, avoidance is not going to be a supportive tool.
I want you to reflect on the 6 ways to overcome rejection and move forward. Pick a few and move forward. If you get stuck, reach out to a licensed counselor. CLICK HERE to explore counseling with Santos Counseling PLLC.
6. Do your best to address the critical inner voice.
The inner critical voice is not the nice one. It’s the one that judges you and says those mean things that few have heard. Yet, you have. It’s the loudest voice in the room that no one but you hears.
You have this voice. I have this voice. All of us have a voice.
It’s our job to ensure that we commit to practices in life that quiet the voice and shed light on the other one. The other one is the voice of self-compassion. It’s the voice that cheers you on, helps you heal, and gives you a warm place to lean on it. It’s the voice that challenges you with love and is there for you even when you have a hard time being there for yourself.
7. Be honest with what you are afraid of.
Consider what your fear is. It’s important to face the fear and allow yourself to confront it. Of course, not all at once. That may be a bit much. (Unless you feel you can handle it).
Overcoming fear must include the active work of facing the fear and all its layers. Consider if you fear speaking to your partner about difficult conversations. It’s important to know the fear at all levels.
Such as that you fear the difficult conversation and on a deeper level you fear that if you have the conversation, they may leave you or use the conversation to attack you in the past.
Helpful Video On Creating A Healthy Support System
Why People Suffer From A Fear Of Rejection
Common reasons that people experience a fear of rejection include an inner struggle with self-confidence and self-esteem. Often the struggle can start at an early age or due to negative life experiences.
Such as growing up in a home where you were not supported, emotionally abused, or made to feel that you were not good enough.
People that experience a fear of rejection have difficulty with:
- Being alone.
- Not wanting to be abandoned.
- Not wanting to be in embarrassing situations.
- Avoidance of situations that can result in failure.
- Fear of not fitting in.
Overly worried with what others are thinking about them.
For more helpful reads on rejection and moving forward follow the links below:
Benefits To Counseling
- Gain coping skills to address difficult thoughts and feelings.
- Develop healthy habits and behaviors.
- Learn how to build self-compassion and love for yourself.
- Create healthy boundaries that stick.