How To Be Present In Your Relationship

I often encourage couples that I work with to focus on listening. To focus on what’s in front of you. For couples, this lesson is vital to the success and growth of the relationship.

Let’s look at a simple and often overlooked example.

Think about the last time you went on a date.

• Did you spend any of the time distracted by your phone?
• Did you spend time daydreaming about an external subject? Maybe work or family related?
• Did you find yourself focused on something external?

Next time you go on a date, I would love for you to focus on the person in front of you. I’m sure your partner would also love this. 

My wife and I enjoy the outdoors. Our dates take place at parks or walking through trails. We spend time talking to each other. Talking about what we see or how we feel. By focusing on each other and what’s in front of us, we are genuinely closer together and more connected.

In all honesty, it wasn’t always like this for my relationship. Just like your relationship, my relationship has and will continue to require work. I cannot begin to tell you how many times in the past, I picked up my phone on dates or found myself daydreaming about what I forgot to do at work.

The important factor to remember is that relationships require work. Get your hands dirty and focus on the person you love.

Relationship counseling is founded on the principle of “work”. Helping couples work to build a healthy loving life together.

In addition, to focus on today, I also want to stress the importance of eliminating toxic topics during cohesive moments.

Below is a list that helps couples focus on the present and have healthier dates.

• Create a rule that phones must not be present. Unless it’s an emergency-related matter.
• Play games on dates that focus on learning more about each other. For instance, 21 questions.
• Have dates at different settings.
• Switch off on who picks the date.
• Spend time posting the date and reflecting on your experience with your partner.
• Express gratitude.
• Express approbation.