How Couples With Kids Can Go From Stuck To Deeply Connected
Are you trying to address the issues that are taking place in your relationship? Well, just like a clock, you find yourself back in the same place. You need to take a step back and figure out how you can support each other. There should be actions that you can engage in, and you need space where you feel authentic and genuinely supported. There are four ways you can work on getting more deeply connected with your partner: create a lasting foundation, do not compromise, focus on living vs. the problems, and self-discovery.
Create A Lasting Foundation
Think of a house. There is a massive structure. What would happen if you didn’t have the structure? Your home would collapse. So, think about the foundation of your relationship. Ask your partner what their definition of commitment is. You have one brain, and your partner has another brain. You need to figure out how your definitions of commitment are going to come together. Take time to identify what commitment means to yourself and what commitment means in your relationship. Take it up a notch and think about what commitment means as a parent.
Do Not Compromise
There needs to be balanced in a relationship. Do not give in. You should never find yourself in a relationship where you are hiding parts of who you are. For example, one partner might feel lost, like they aren’t themselves. Dig deep and figure out what that means. We all have an identity before we meet our partners. Ten years into a relationship, we might not even know what we like anymore. We must acknowledge that we can be fully present and excited in our lives. When we compromise, we lose parts of ourselves, and we sacrifice who we are for the sake of the relationship.
Focus On Living Vs. The Problems
When you have an argument, you can be on edge and moody. The day could be fantastic, but instead, you’re grumpy. So, we need to try mindfulness. Be your own reflection guru. Put an alarm on your phone that goes off every hour. Then, ask yourself if you are living your best life. Think about what you can do to find happiness instead of thinking about problems. These reminders will keep us on track. Sadly, most problems in relationships are not solved. We need to address the issues and work through them. However, think about the problems in your relationship that were really intense. Later down the road, you laugh at those problems, and you got to a better place. You can go through a big moment, but later, you’re okay – remember this.
Self-Discovery
When you first meet your partner, you start to get feelings for them because you learn new and cool things about them. When you find yourself going in the wrong direction, what do you do? Usually, you tend to attack your partner. Most of the time, we attack our partners on the things that we loved about them. There’s a lack of understanding and self-discovery. To fix this, go back to self-discovery and think about the things that you love about your partner. Then, identify the tolerance you have for one another. How easy it for you to go from zero to one hundred with one another? If your tolerance is low, you’re more likely to snap. That means you need to use self-discovery to understand why your tolerance is low.
