How Name Calling Can Affect A Relationship

How Name Calling Can Affect A Relationship

Let’s be honest, I’m sure that you know it’s not healthy to call your partner a negative name. Yet, it happens. Naming calling in relationships is actually pretty common. Typically, when people get upset, they have difficulty thinking clearly and before you know it hurtful actions and words are displayed.

How Counseling Can Help Your Relationship

Working with a relationship counselor can give your relationship a safe and constructive space to learn how to communicate without name-calling. Our Greensboro counselors, at Santos Counseling PLLC, work with you in a manner that is focused on giving you the tools to communicate effectively.

Why Does Name Calling Take Place In Relationships

Arguments are often a normal part of relationships. They sometimes start with something small about who took out the trash and before you know it hurtful words are being said. You know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s a small snowflake that becomes a giant avalanche! Learn why it’s important for you and your partner to stop name-calling and replace the behavior with constructive communication skills. For more relationship tips click here.

What is Name Calling In A Relationship

Name-calling in a relationship can show up in many hurtful forms. At its core, the habit of name-calling is an act that slowly poisons a relationship. Like any other poison, the effect continues to destroy the relationship once it takes hold. A few include:

  • You never do anything right!
  • You are such a selfish person!
  • That’s why no one likes you!
  • I don’t even know why I married you!

7 Ways To Avoid Name Calling In Your Relationship

1. Take Responsibility For Your Actions

Are you adding to the conflict? Are you pushing buttons on purpose? If you are reading this and your goal is to stop name-calling in the relationship then there must be accountability and vulnerability. The act of vulnerability occurs when a person lets their guard down to the point that they or they can grow to hold ownership over their actions. To improve and heal your relationship from the act of name-calling start with taking responsibility for your actions.

2. The Importance of Respectful Communication In Relationships

Calling names in a relationship is a hurtful behavior that can destroy respect, connection, and trust. The key to a successful relationship involves creating a foundation for respect. You can start this practice by teaching each other what respect means to you in the area of conversation. For instance, one partner can share that respect means holding eye contact with the other. While the other partner can share that respect means providing each other with space when a break is needed.

3. Avoiding Name Calling With This Replacement

Successful couples use what are called code words. These are words that replace that hurtful and destructive one. CLICK HERE to read more about using code words in your relationship. Remember, the goal is to stop using name-calling and instead try your best to share your genuine feelings with your partner. The act of name-calling clouds what you are trying to say.

4. Stop Name Calling With This Relationship Strategy

Do you want to avoid name-calling in your relationship? Is name-calling the root of issues in your relationship? The strategy here aims to teach you how to improve your relationship without saying a word. An act of kindness is something that can be done without saying one word. If you’re unsure where to start, I suggest that you wake up in the morning and give your partner a hug and a kiss. Or you wake up, brew a fresh pot of coffee, and bring it to your partner in their favorite mug. Another idea is to rush home and clean up the house. When your partner arrives home to a clean house, they will feel fantastic. It’s something small that will have a massive effect on the mood in the house. That is nonverbal communication. These little acts of kindness will make your partner feel extra special and help your relationship continue to thrive. 

5. Practice Compassionate Listening To Stop Name Calling

Compassionate listening is checking your ego and showing up to the conversation with a mixture of love, kindness, respect, and consideration. Typically name calling takes place when a person’s ego is triggered. The ego reacts and before you know it, the person is defensive or in attack mode. Key ways to practice compassionate listening include listening to your partner interrupting them and asking for clarification when you feel stuck.

6. Understanding the Consequences of Name Calling

One truly effective way to stop name-calling in your relationship is to get to know the consequences. Name-calling makes it extremely difficult for anyone to be heard and truly sabotages the entire conversation. For instance, if one partner is trying to share how they feel and their goal is for their partner to comprehend that they are feeling lonely. The act of name-calling can lead to the partner listening becoming closed off and before you know it, the goal is not achieved.

7. Create and Use Healthy Communication techniques.

Are you aware of what healthy communication practices or tools you can use to improve your relationship? If not, then we have some work to do. A healthy communication technique is one that creates connection, fosters understanding, and is grounded in respect. For instance, when one partner expresses gratitude to the other after a conversation. Or when you receive the words “I’m sorry. I get how what I said was hurtful.” Today, try to focus on developing healthy communication techniques in your relationship.

Are you ready to start relationship counseling?

Santos Counseling PLLC specializes in working with couples that are eager to improve their relationship. Name-calling in a relationship can have negative implications. At first, it starts with feeling hurt and upset. Before you know it, the long-term implication is that you are ready to search for a divorce lawyer. Use couples counseling to learn exactly how to stop name-calling and improve your relationship.