Couples that can talk about their issues are more likely to overcome challenges then those that shove them under the rug. I find that most people have a threshold. A threshold of the amount of pain or hurt they can take before speaking up. When it comes to creating a healthy lasting relationship, couples should focus on talking about the very issues that create tension, hurt or pain sooner than later.
As a relationship counselor, I provide couples that I work with a blueprint to discussing issues and problems in the relationship weekly. What the system does is, it creates a platform to decrease tension and promote respect and understanding in the relationship. If you would like to explore how you can face obstacles in your relationship while creating emotional connection click here.
Below are ways to create emotional connection in your relationship while opening the door to conflict resolution.:
Identify the value in your relationship.
Relationships have value and its up to the couple to identify the value. As a quick activity take time to realize the value in your relationship. You may find that the activity supports in promoting romance, respect, and connection.
Identify the purpose of the fight.
Have you ever fought with your partner and noticed that the original focus of the fight was lost in the process of the fight?
With this in mind take time to look at the whole case of a fight. Broaden your idea of what’s really taking place. In one of my earlier post, I wrote about code words, and this system teaches couples to decrease conflict, find understanding, practice respect, and establish empathy. Once you review the code word activity, take time to practice it.
Playing the right role(s)
It’s fair to say that as much as we want to be, we just cannot be our partners “everything”. It would first be exhausting and second extremely difficult. I personally could not be my wife’s physician or personal trainer. I lack the skills and would end up hurting our relationship more than anything.
Finding balance in your relationship starts with identifying what role(s) to play and which to refer out. As a fun and short activity, take time to discuss role(s) with your partner by evaluating the following questions:
- What role(s) do we currently play for each other?
- What role(s) do we have the skill(s) to play?
- What should be referred out?
For long-lasting love, the more similar activities you do the better. Partners can spend time engaging in activities like playing catch, fishing, board games, or exercise to build emotional connection and have fun. The practice of engaging in common activities incline couples to share experiences, memories and build stronger values.
Couples are also able to feel a sense of inclusion and participation in the relationship versus searching for time to spend together. As a fun activity, create a calendar system focused on playing together. One day each week have one activity that can be completed together. Do your best to remain committed and consistent by practicing GRIT.
As a relationship counselor, I love helping couples create lasting love, romance and connection. Together, I work with couples to learn how they can overcome challenges in the relationship and prepare for those ahead. To explore relationship courses offered from the convenience of your home click here.
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