Questions that help couples improve their relationship.
When couples seek support from a marriage counselor, the meeting right away takes place with a form of Q and A. Questions and Answers. The counselor asks questions about the relationship.
- How long have you been together?
- What milestones have you achieved together?
- What are your strengths?
- Why are you here?
The couple during the meeting takes part in the Q and A process by asking questions aimed to address issues and improve the relationship. The questions include:
- Why did my partner cheat?
- Why can’t he just understand me?
- Is something wrong with me?
The purpose of questions is to establish a form of understanding and interaction. To get two people to sit down and gain clarity. Below is a set of questions. BUT… Before you dive into the questions, I want you to work to acknowledge the following.
The questions only work to support your relationship if you are willing to listen to your partner, lower your guard, and maintain a big picture idea that the conversation is focused on improving your life and the relationship. As you answer the questions give your partner honesty and kindness. Try to remove defensive walls and open the door to vulnerability and accountability.
Questions that help couples go from stuck to deeply connected:
1. What is your love language?
Check out the love language book by clicking here to learn more about the love languages. This is a great way to improve the relationship and build deep connection with your partner.
2. What was your favorite date that we ever had?
Talking about dates and experiences allows you to learn the growth process in your relationship. As a supportive listen, click here to check out a podcast episode focused on relationship improvement strategies.
3. What are the 5 strengths you see between us?
The strengths are often what show you why you enjoy being together. If possible, take time to talk about your strengths and how they make you feel. Consider using this space to come together and learn how to show appreciation to each other for their strengths.
4. What is your favorite sexual memory of us?
This is a juicy one for some. Try to dig into your sex history with each other and share what you enjoy. Couples that are comfortable sharing sexual thoughts and memories often create space for a deep connection. Trust is often connected to a person’s willingness to feel comfortable with discussing particular topics, such as this one. Check out this listen on building trust in a relationship by clicking here.
5. If you could be any character in a book who would it be and why?
6. What is your favorite memory from when we were dating?
As you continue reading, take time to evaluate how you are feeling. One key purpose to engaging in relationship questions is to build connections and time together. Your relationship is a plant and like every plant it needs nurture. Asking each other questions directly nurtures and works to improve the relationship.
Check out the couple’s journal as a supportive tool to help you build emotional connection and explore questions that improve relationships.
7. What are three things about me that first attracted you?
As you talk about this question, take time to evaluate your level of connection in the relationship. To support this area of relationship building, check out this supportive tool found here.
8. If you could plan the perfect date with me, what would it be?
When you explore this question try to spend purposeful time versus doing it quickly. You can take advantage of this question by planning separate dates such as those in your city or even international. Again, try to have fun.
9. What is on your bucket list?
This is one of my favorite questions. I always find that it helps to create laughter, identify experiences, and build a strong level of connection in the relationship.
10. What are three things about me that drive you nuts?
Are you interested in working with a couples therapist? Email our counseling office [email protected] or call 336-663-6570.
