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How to get along with your “lazy” husband

First off I just want to apologize to any husbands, boyfriends, or males that have been offended by the title. I honestly needed something to catch your eye 🙂

When I say “lazy” I am referring to behaviors men do that women are more likely to point out as “lazy”, “annoying”, or “inconsiderate”.

  • Leaving the toilet sit up.

  • Making lunch or a meal only for himself. As if you are not also hungry.

  • Walking into the house with a mud trail.

  • Not doing laundry properly. Whites with the Whites please!

  • Following a cooking recipe.

  • Shopping for bargains.

  • Telling you “we need peanut butter” just when you got back from a 2-hour grocery haul.

After writing some of the behaviors on the list, I had to take a second look at myself. Yes, I have from time to time left the toilet sit up. I have also (more then what I would like to share) reminded my wife that we need certain foods right after she finished grocery shopping.

The truth of the matter is that men are not “deliberately” trying to be “lazy”.

Men need assistance from their counterparts.

You have probably told your husband over and over some of the things mentioned above. Yet, ‘he” continues to do them. And, that continues to “irritate you”.

How to help your husband “NOT BE LAZY”

First step is to be more understanding, patient and creative in assisting your husband or partner with the changes.

  • Be creative and have a picture or wall décor that reminds your husband to do the act that you are requesting. For instance, if you want him to put the toilet sit down – have a picture of it in the restroom.

  • Sync your phone calendar with his. Add the daily to do list and be sure to send him reminders (regardless if he does not have to do it – you simply want him involved and up to date).

  • Have a common calendar on the fridge or somewhere in the house that gets a lot of foot traffic. Give him a task on the calendar.

  • Allocate one hour per week to “identifying changes the two of you are working on in order to strengthen your relationship”.

  • Provide praise and a “high five” each time he is able to follow through. I understand that this sounds silly. If you think about how silly it is that someone would become upset over a toilet sit being left up when there are so many other “bigger and more important things in life” to worry about – “it should make sense” on why both parties feel the way they do.

There are so many ways that couples can grow distant from each other. Sometimes it is over bigger things like “dishonesty or cheating on your partner”. Other times, it is over daily acts. Often couples I see for couple’s counseling come to me because of issues such as “my husband is too lazy” or “lack of communication” (among others).

couples counseling, couples counseling greensboro, couples counseling winston salemHello from your counselor and Nola 🙂

One important factor to remember as you work to strengthen your relationship is that “it is your job to sharpen your relationship”. When you see or feel something that is not working – ADDRESS it and WORK through it.

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cover image by caleb Ekeroth