Can Discernment Counseling Help You?
Discernment Counseling is for couples that feel that they are on the brink of divorce. This form of therapy is a unique structured program that guides you and your partner through the decision-making process of divorce or reconciliation.
This is not marriage counseling.
We explore all options together in a space and constructive space. I want you to share your concerns, discuss the deep emotions you are holding, explore the difficult questions of separation, and identify exactly what rekindling the relationship can look like.
Highly effective for couples considering breaking up or getting divorced.
What Is Discernment Counseling
Discernment counseling is common among couples where one person has one foot out the door. Unlike marriage counseling where the goal is often focused on improving key areas of the relationship, addressing intimacy, or strengthening communication skills. This style of therapy is brief is designed to get you to a place of conclusion.
We work together through a course of 1 to 5 sessions to answer the question.
Can you rekindle your relationship or is divorce the better option?
The benefit of discernment counseling is that it’s designed to answer difficult questions. The ones that you do not want to learn question or find yourself regretting. Together we address the questions while further working on creating respect and compassion whether it be in divorce or reconciliation.
Discernment Counseling Is Not Effective or Recommended When
There are four key times that discernment counseling is not recommended. They include:
- When manipulation is taking place.
- When you have already decided to separate or divorce and are dragging the other person along.
- When the relationship is in danger. This can include domestic violence.
- When both have agreed to the decision of separation or reconciliation.
Please remember discernment counseling is a brief and effective form of support that helps you gain clarity and confidence in (a) the decision of divorce or separation (b) the decision of trying to make a strong final effort to rekindle the relationship or (c) the decision to pause things for a moment can come back to this process later in life.
Benefits of Discernment Counseling
Discernment counseling gives you a place to process the decision of divorce or reconciliation so that you can decide on what to do next. As your counselor, my role is to be a supportive neutral party with expertise in helping you constructively have a difficult conversation. Together we will address the key areas:
- What took place in the relationship that led to the decision of separate?
- A review of what has taken place in your relationship to address challenges and create healing.
- Exploration of divorce and who would be impacted by the process. Such as children, finances, and so forth.
- Focus on whether or not problems are able to be solved.
- Exploration of the options and make a decision on what to do next. Such as separating or moving forward with reconciliation.
What To Expect In Discernment Counseling
The discernment counseling process has three core areas that must be decided on:
- To end the relationship.
- To create a structured plan with a fixed timeline focused on reconciliation. Typically this is about 6 months in length.
- To postpone the decision.
My role as your counselor is to give you a safe and constructive space where you have the confidence and clarity to move forward on your decision.