How To Create A Healthy And Succesful Relationship
1. Do activities with your partner.
Couples who play together tend to stay together. The reason is simple, you and your partner create new experiences. The goal is to find an activity that you both mutually will enjoy: camping, tennis, swimming, golf, simply something that you two will have fun with.
2. Be spontaneous in your relationship.
Create new experiences by breaking the old fashion routine. If you always go to the same dinner on Sunday mornings – break the routine. Try somewhere new and unfamiliar. New places build a sense of satisfaction in your relationship and individual mindsets that the relationship is fresh, juicy, and new.
3. Create code words to reduce conflict.
Every relationship should have a code word for conflict disengagement. Fights, arguments, and conflict are often what break relationships. By creating a code that represents “STOP – let’s wait until we are calm and level-headed to discuss the topic in a healthy manner”. This strategy directly prevents you or your spouse from saying nasty negative comments to each other and in turn, creates a system of respect and growth. Are you ready to start couples counseling? Click here to get started.
4. Communicate consistently in your marriage.
Don’t ever stop talking with each other. Always ask each other questions like:
- “How was your day?”
- “When you did _____ it hurt my feelings”
- “When you did _____ it made me feel”
- “I do not like when you do _____. I would prefer for you to do _______ because it would make me feel ____”.
Communication is your one tool that will always open new doors and in essence, spark your relationship.
5. Ask for healthy change in your relationship.
If you notice that your spouse is doing something that is hurting your feelings, bring it to their attention. If you noticed that your spouse no longer calls you as they once did at the beginning of the relationship, remind them and ask them to do the things you like. There is absolutely nothing wrong with educating your spouse on healthy changes that will build a stronger relationship.
6. Give your partner space.
It is important for you and your spouse to have your personal ventures. Give each other space to go out on “guys’ night out” or “girls’ night out”. What normally takes place is that the distance created brings you back even closer. You leave to spend time with your friends while going, you often wish to escape to your spouse. In addition, the time spent with your friends provides time to release stress.
7. Talk about your problems.
Spending time discussing conflict or problems in a manner that truly dives into (a) how each of you felt (b) what each of you wished would have happened and how you would do it again (c) what went wrong.
8. Practice Self-Care To Improve Your Relationship.
It is vital to focus on growing into your best version. You can do this by journal writing, working with a counselor, or exercising. Successful relationships have partners that actively engage in self-care. Ensure that you are practicing self-care in your relationship.
9. Engage In Healing Practices.
Creating a successful relationship includes active work on healing and growing. I want you to think about how you show up in the relationship. Consider if there are parts of your past that create hurt in the relationship. If so, please take time to work on healing these areas as they may impact the health of the relationship.
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Remember just because you end a problem with a “sorry” does not mean it is resolved. Sometimes you truly have to dive into the conflict and invest in the opportunity for growth.
The conflict may lead to solving future conflicts and in turn creating a stronger healthier connection between you and your partner.