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Ways To Create A Positive Family System

Ways To Create A Positive Family System

How do you have a healthy family dynamic? If you are trying to make sure that the system you have is healthy, then there are a few things you need to think about. 


If you have a child and they share something with you that happened at school, then there are a few ways to provide validation. First, listen to your child intently. You can show validation by using eye contact, smiling, and saying thank you for sharing. The child will feel heard, and their statements are validated. 



Think about your family system. Are you able to identity lots of moments where appreciation has been validated? For instance, when someone stops by and has a conversation with you, you should appreciate it. Tell them that you appreciate them stopping by. When you have a potluck and someone brings your favorite dish, let them know that you appreciate it! At the end of the day, no one has to do anything, so it’s beautiful when we use words of gratitude. Check out my Appreciation Exercise


Caring and Love

In your family systems, are individuals feeling loved, and are they feeling cared for? Dig deep and have a conversation with your child. Ask them if they feel loved. Push the conversation because you have a big goal of nurturing and creating a healthy family dynamic. If your child isn’t always feeling cared for or loved for, you can brainstorm ways to make them feel those things. 


Respect Personal Space

Think about your family system. Is personal space being respected? If you are with your family, do your children have to hug people, or do they have the choice to hug people? There should be a conversation with your child that they have a say about their personal space. One way you can model this is by asking your child if it’s okay to hug them. This way, your child will feel empowered and in charge of their own personal space.


Healthy Emotional Expression

Parents want to be role models for their children. For instance, you want to model how to fix a tire. That way, when their car breaks down, then they know how to fix the tire. If you have a rough day at work, you come home, and you yell at your wife. In this instance, you tell your children that when you have a bad day, it’s okay to yell at someone. 

Instead, find a way to model healthy emotional expression. When you get home, try and share with your kids. Tell them that you had a rough day and you are going to color to make yourself feel better. This conversation shows that you are capable of being vulnerable. Down the road, your children will be vulnerable with you when they are having a rough day.


Family Counseling

We want to introduce you to Amber. Our Santos Counseling PLLC office is excited to continue to serve the Greensboro community by bringing the very best counselors to you.

Amber specializes in helping families understand how to overcome challenges while working with children on the Autism Spectrum and supporting college students to navigate mood challenges and life’s journey.

To speak or schedule an appointment with Amber, call 336-663-6570

Email Amber at [email protected]

Family System