Individual or Couples Therapy: Which One Is Right?
Individual counseling can be a wonderful start for those seeking couples counseling. I can understand how this can be a little difficult to understand as most people think about couples counseling when they are in need of addressing relationship challenges.
As a couples counselor with over a decade of experience and training ranging from the Gottman method to trauma-informed approaches, I am here to tell you that both can be effective. Each has advantages.
I work with a large amount of individual people who specifically seek counseling to support their marriage. We do this on a one-on-one level. For some it’s a better option because they get to focus entirely on what they can control. Meaning that they come to individual therapy and focus on their own self which then translates to making improvements in the relationship.
Individual counseling can be a wonderful start for the following key reasons:
- It may be difficult to get your partner to attend couples counseling with a willing attitude. The truth is that both partners need to be entirely committed to couple therapy. If one is one foot out the door or being dragged into therapy, then we must consider the impact. Is that helpful or not helpful to achieving goals?
- Individual therapy allows you to have a space where you can work on specific areas that directly impact the relationship. What is vital to think about is the two core components that help people improve their marriage. The first component is personal work. The second component is the work that impacts the marriage. You can work on what you can control. This is you. And you can let your improvements learned in therapy filter into your marriage.
- One of you may be ready while the other needs more time.
- You may prefer to see individual counselors. I have some clients that will see me on a one-on-one level. Their partner sees another counselor individually. Both go to individual counselors with the focus on improving the relationship.
Benefits To Counseling
- Counseling can help you learn to listen actively.
- Build emotional intelligence skills to address and resolve conflict.
- Learn how to identify and address unwanted habits and patterns.
- Improve your ability to implement and utilize healthy coping skills.
- Gain skills for better emotional management.
Ways that individual counseling can help you to improve your relationship
So, you may think to yourself. What exactly can you do in individual counseling to help your relationship or marriage? Well, the list goes on and on. Here are some ways that individual counseling can help you to improve your relationship:
- Improving communication
- Learning to work on forgiveness.
- Learning to work on resentment and how removing resentment can help you be a better partner.
- Work on your mental and physical health.
- Learn to understand and respect boundaries.
- Address unwanted behaviors and habits.
- Build healthy positive habits and routines.
- Improve your sense of worth, confidence, and self-esteem.
- Work on learning to be a better listener in your marriage.
- Work on learning how to communicate in a way that allows you to be vulnerable with your partner.
- Gain skills to address conflict.
I want to end with the key point that this is your life. Each story is different and unique. You may benefit from couples counseling while another couple benefits from the individual approach.
I encourage you to explore your options.
Use the links below for more supportive reads:
33 Tips for Couples: Love, Communication, and Growth