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Should We See A Sex Therapist

Sex Therapist In Greensboro, NC

How do you feel when you discuss sex with your partner?

Some couples are comfortable talking about sex while others feel uneasy. The key is understanding that you cannot avoid the elephant in the room. It’s too big and before you know it. That elephant, that is not addressed gets in the way. Right in the middle of you and your partner. This without a doubt will cause distance and disconnect.

Melissa is a licensed counselor, trauma-trained professional, and practitioner who holds extensive experience in supporting couples with sex therapy. As a counselor with Santos Counseling PLLC, Melissa holds a background in helping couples dive into the topic of sex and therapy. To learn more about working with Melissa CLICK HERE.

Sex therapy helps couples:

  • That desire to understand each other on an intimate level.
  • Overcoming learned behaviors that hurt the relationship. As an example, if you grew up in a house that did not engage in sexual conversation. This may lead to a struggle to connect with your partner.
  • Build confidence in communicating with each other.
  • Learning to accept each other.
  • Come together as a team.  Check out 7 Signs You and Your Wife Are Truly A Team by clicking here to read more about building teamwork in your relationship.

What To Expect In A Sex Therapy Session?

When you decide to work with a counselor that focus is on your presenting concerns. The counselors give you space to share your goals, challenges that are taking place, and other details that help to create the structure for the upcoming sessions. A common topic that is discussed during sex therapy is intimacy. This includes:

  • Evaluating the emotional connection in the relationship.
  • Exploring if partners are sexually satisfied.
  • Discuss how comfortable the topic of sex is within the relationship.
  • Identifying how past life experiences impact the area of intimacy.
  • Creating exercises that support improving intimacy.
  • Addressing negative behaviors connected to intimacy. Such as, having one partner control or dictate when sex takes place.

 

CLICK HERE to watch a helpful video focused on relationship tips.

 

Recent Interview On The Topic of Sex Therapy:

by Laurie Watson, LMFT, LPC

“I can’t believe how long we waited to get help!” is the most frequent comment I hear from sex therapy graduates.  There are no exams, no nudity, and certainly no sexual touching involved in sex therapy.  Sex therapy is a branch of traditional psychotherapy and is only “talk therapy.”

You’re not alone in having sexual problems. At some point, couples have sexual problems that are often easily fixed.  Young newlyweds have sexual adjustment problems.  Couples with young children are often exhausted and have trouble keeping the bedroom a priority, leading to fights.  Older couples struggle with menopause, malepause and old relational resentments that shut down sex.

This blog will tell you what sex therapy is and answer a few of your questions about it.

1) Sex therapy helps couples talk about sex with each other.  A sex therapist feels comfortable talking about sex.  

2) Sex therapy gets to the problem.  Couples often can’t solve these intimate issues on their own because disappointment, hurt, anger, resentment, accusations, inhibition, and several rounds of fighting might have shut down the very discussion most needed.  

3) Sex therapists have hope. I have rarely encountered a problem between two ordinary people that I didn’t feel was somehow workable and resolvable.

4) What kinds of problems do sex therapists treat?  The top two problems in my practice: are low sexual desire and the frequency of disagreements between partners.  

5) How long does sex therapy take?  Three levels of problems take different lengths of treatment. Sexually-oriented problems, like premature ejaculation, achieving orgasm for the first time or asking questions about sex you’ve never been able to ask only take a few sessions.

6) Sexual problems entangled in the relationship affect most of the couples I see.  Sex serves as a perfect battleground to work out deeper issues about how close each wants to feel and how much autonomy they want to be granted in the marriage or partnership.  This often takes at least 6 months and involves marital therapy as well.

Trauma, childhood histories of neglect or abuse, difficulties feeling connected to anyone, and the sexual problems resulting from these issues can sometimes take several years to resolve.  

7) What if I get turned on talking about sex with my sex therapist?   Sex therapists have firm ethical boundaries about NOT entering a sexual relationship with any client.  Again, sex therapy never includes sex with the therapist.

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Laurie Watson, AASECT certified sex therapist, licensed couples counselor for over 2 decades, television and radio personality, guest lecturer at the medical schools of Duke and UNC-Chapel Hill, and conference speaker.

Read more about Laurie

cover image by azrul aziz

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