Learn How To Be A Strong and Kind Parent
As a parent, it’s important to find a constructive and healthy way to guide your child forward. To help them learn how to navigate mistakes and unwanted behaviors. The topic of discipline is one that often comes up in counseling sessions.
Disciplining your child can be one of the most difficult yet important parts of raising them. I encourage you to reflect on the understanding that it’s natural to feel conflicted about enforcing rules or setting boundaries.
Parents often struggle with disciplining because it can leave them, parent, feeling “like the bad parent”. The good news is that discipline doesn’t have to be about punishment or anger—it can be a tool for teaching, guiding, and fostering healthy development. A helpful read to add to his one can be found here.
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3 Ways To Be A Proactive Parent
1. Dive into your child’s activities. Ideas include:
- Joining their school PTA
- Signing up to be a coach for their team
- Having a date night with them
- Asking them about their day each and every day
- Connect with their teachers or professionals who support them (ie. coaches, trainers, mentors…)
- Follow them on social media. “If they let you lol”
2. Get to know your childs’ behaviors.
Now that you involved in your child’s life. Take time observe their behaviors and gain an understanding of how they are doing in life.
Below are a few questions that can aid in connecting with your child:
- Anything crazy happens today? I really want to hear a great story.
- What was the best part of your day?
- What was the worst part of your day?
- If you could tell me one thing that really made your day awesome, what would it be?
3. Kids listen to role models. Be your child’s role model.
As a kid, I think I was pretty much like the rest of the aspect of having role models. I would look up to professional athletes like Derek Jeter from the Yankees. I think it is important for parents to strive to in some form or fashion be their child’s role model. Doing so will strengthen the connection and aid your child in life.
Below are a few strategies to get you started in becoming your child’s role model:
- Become a coach or supportive resource for them on the field or at home by increasing your knowledge and involvement.
- Create connections with mentors that support your child.
- Connect your child with the mentors.
- Ask as many questions as you can (or at least until your child tells you to stop).
As a counselor, I work with families using an approach to allows communication to take place. One of my goals is to have the family sit together. Very similar to what we see when families come together for dinner time.
I grew up in a household that required my siblings and me, each and every dinner to be seated at the table with my parents. We would sit and eat our meal while engaging in conversation. At times, the conversations felt serious and strict if one of us had gotten in trouble that day. Other times the room was light and full of laughter.
In therapy, I find that when a family comes together something special takes place. A sense of vulnerability. Fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters are able to share what they like and don’t like about the family system. The conversations are sometimes heavy and filled with tears or tension. Other times people listen and take aim to make a change.
The most important factor is that understanding takes place. The family understands that while some things are going well, others are not. The family desires more than anything to find a way to connect with each other through love versus hate.
Family counseling can be seen as a connection. A way to work and build bridges.
