How Does Jealousy Impact A Relationship?
Not only will jealousy impact the current moment, but it has a lot to do with what has taken place in the past. If you are someone that is going through jealousy, then think back to your history. When have you had thoughts of jealousy or insecurity?
Maybe you text your partner and ask where they are. When it takes them twenty minutes to respond, you might start to feel insecure. Another example is when you go out to the bars, and there’s an attractive person. Your partner starts to talk to them – this can stir up jealousy. These moments make you feel jealous and insecure. But really, what happened in the past that made you feel like this?
Think About Your Past Relationships
Think about your old relationships and who you dated in the past. Were you treated with respect? Did you have healthy boundaries? If your past relationships were toxic, then it could be impacting your belief system now. For instance, your ex-partner could have cheated on you. They could have set up a date for six but didn’t show up until eight. They told you that they would be there for you, but then they weren’t. This deceit is a melting pot for jealousy. When these things happen to you in the past, it’s easy for them to stir up in feelings your present.
How You Feel About Yourself
Another area to look at is how you feel about yourself. Think about these things:
- How do I think about myself?
- Am I confident?
- How is my self-esteem?
Typically, we want these three areas to be high. You want to feel good about yourself, want to be confident, and want high self-worth. If these three areas are low on the spectrum, you may feel jealous of your partner because you feel insecure about yourself. If your partner is communicating with the clerk at the grocery store, do you feel jealous? Maybe it’s because your self-confidence and self-worth are low. Then, you are projecting out. However, it just means you haven’t developed yourself whole yet.
What Happened In Your Childhood
Go back into your past and look at how your childhood was. When your parents started to focus on something or someone else, it could have made you jealous. Now, when your partner gives their attention to someone or something else, it makes you think of your childhood. You’ll have those same feelings as you did as a child. You’ll start to feel jealous and insecure in your relationship. That’s why it’s critical to seek therapy when you see that jealousy is taking over your relationship. Eventually, jealousy will be too much for your partner to handle. Seek help before it’s too late.
Santos Counseling PLLC is located in Greensboro, North Carolina. Start your counseling journey, check out the amazing counselors, and see which one is a good fit for you here: https://santoscounseling.com.
Watch the YouTube Video: How To Not Attack Your Partner During Conflict.
Lastly, follow @santos_counseling on Instagram for relationship tools and resources.
