What Is Divorce Counseling And What Happens In Divorce Counseling

You may be thinking what is divorce counseling?

Divorce counseling focuses on meeting you where you are at. For some, divorce counseling stages in the early stages of separation. For others, it’s right in the middle of a custody battle leaving you feeling overwhelmed and on edge. Counseling helps. It really does.

You have this space with your therapist that focuses entirely on the divorce process all the way from the struggle to navigating the new life change to reaching that beautiful point of stability.

When people reach out to our office for divorce counseling, we notice that one of the main goals is finding stability in life. Being able to reconnect with your values and authentic self. Feeling a sense of freedom and empowerment.

Are you ready to start counseling? CLICK HERE to get started.

There are two areas of divorce counseling. One is pre-divorce counseling and the other is post-divorce counseling.

What is pre-divorce counseling:

Pre-divorce counseling focuses on the early stages of separation and divorce. This takes place when a client reaches out for divorce counseling when they are preparing for a divorce.

The client at this point wants help with one of two key areas:

1. Identifying if the relationship can be salvaged.

Some people reach out for pre-divorce counseling because they may still be on the fence about deciding if they should divorce or stay together. Your counselor works with you in navigating this life-changing decision.

The goal is not to tell you what to do. Instead, it is to provide a safe, non-judgmental, and constructive space to address the key reasons that brought you to start counseling.

2. Identifying how to navigate the divorce process in a healthy and constructive way.

You may have reached out for divorce counseling because you and your partner do not want to have a jerry springer version of a divorce. If you have kids, you are not wanting to hurt their development in any way.

Great. Divorce counseling is a wonderful opportunity that can give you the tools and knowledge to navigate the process of divorce. This way you and your partner separate in a healthy and positive way. Versus separation and hating each other to the point that you avoid eye contact and do not answer text messages for days. A supportive podcast that goes into reaching healthy endings in a relationship can be found HERE.

Common reasons to seek pre-divorce counseling:

Desire to communicate effectively.
Address parenting concerns.
Support to be kind, respectful, and civil with each other.
Support with navigating financial legalities.
Support with the changes in roles as the divorce process takes place.
Co-parenting support.

Below is a case study to help you understand pre-divorce and how counseling can help:

Jason and his partner started pre-divorce counseling because they had a family member who went through a nasty divorce and custody battle. Jason shared with the counselor that he remembers how often his uncle would have screaming battles with his ex-partner and the amount of money drawn out in the court custody battles. Jason and his partner worked with the divorce counselor to learn how to remain respectful and considerate of each other during a difficult phase of their life. For Jason and his partner, divorce counseling taught them how to talk about finances, share time with the kids, talk to the kids about the divorce, and continue to support each other as co-parents.

What is post-divorce counseling:

Post-divorce counseling connects to when you are separated or divorced and seek counseling. The post-divorce counseling at this stage focuses on areas such as navigating life after divorce. This stage in life can be challenging as it directly impacts our identity.

After divorce, you may find that your friends or even family members continue to refer to you in ways that highlight your prior identity. Such as, Mrs.… Or “how is your wife doing?”. Experiences like this can be difficult as you are working to restructure your life and form a new identity.

Common reasons to seek post-divorce counseling:

Heal from heavy emotional pain.
Connect to your authentic self.
Come together as parents in co-parenting.
Address the aftermath of divorce.

Below is a case study to help you understand post-divorce and how counseling can help:

Jessica and Jordan reached out to a divorce counselor because they wanted to learn what went wrong in their relationship. Together they used the counseling sessions to ask questions about their past relationship, explore red and green flags in the relationships, build mutual respect, and gain clarity. Both in their sessions shared a deep worry if repeating past cycles or making the same mistakes in new relationships. For Jordan and Jessica divorce counseling provided them with a sense of peace in their life that directly helped to improve their future relationships.